It’s no secret that 24-7 care for yourself or a loved one is expensive. In Mississippi, the average cost of a nursing home is $8,517 a month for a semi-private room and $8,760 for a private room.
How does the average person cover this cost? Here are some options:
- Medicare: If you have Medicare Part A, depending on your circumstances, it generally will pay for the first 20 days of your stay in a nursing home. However, bear in mind that the average nursing home stay ranges from 13 months to over two years.
- Personal funding: Use your money or your family’s to foot the bill. This includes personal savings, pensions, retirement funds, income from investments or even proceeds from the sale of your home or other assets.
- Government programs: Note that programs like Medicaid are income based and require time and lots of paperwork to qualify.
- Military benefits: In additional to any retiree benefits if you are the surviving spouse or child of a veteran who served during wartime, you may be eligible for monthly aid and attendance benefits. VA Form 21P-534 specifies eligibility as, if you are blind, a patient in a nursing home, otherwise need regular aid and attendance or are permanently confined to your home because of a disability, these benefits are available even if your spouse did not retire from the military.
- Private financing options: These include things like long-term care insurance or reverse mortgages. Some life-insurance policies include a provision for living benefits, which under certain circumstances provide access to the death benefit before the insured passes away. Annuity policies also may include a provision to increase the benefits for a specified period in the event of a long-term care need.
Because circumstances and government programs change, knowing the options available now does not necessarily mean those options will be available when you need to provide long-term care for yourself or a family member. The best-case scenario in planning for long-term care is not a once-and-done thing, it is a process.
Having walked through these challenges since 2009, caring for my parents and then my in-laws, here are a few tips that helped me protect my mental and financial health:
TIP 1: START THE CONVERSATION NOW
Having these discussions now will make it easier. How could I have known what financial resources were available, or my parents’ wishes when the worst happened, had we not discussed it in advance? My children know my wishes, what resources are available and where all my information is. These types of discussions provide a strong foundation upon which to build hard decisions.
TIP 2: IDENTIFY ANY CURRENT NEEDS
How is your loved one coping with handling day-to-day activities like driving, cleaning, paying bills or taking care of personal needs? Does the home need modifications or updates to help him or her be safe? Don’t just assume things are fine. Go at unexpected times and pay attention to what is not being said. Ask your loved one to show you how he or she gets up the steps or into and out of the tub or shower. Do you know where all his or her papers are stored, along with computer or online passwords? Who is your loved one’s
financial advisor, banker or insurance agent? Ask your loved one how you can assist while allowing him or her to make as many choices independently as possible.
TIP 3: ASSESS YOUR LOVED ONE’S FINANCIAL RESOURCES
According to a recent study, the average 65-year-old retiree can expect health care costs upwards of $157,500 during his or her retirement years, not including long-term care costs. Do you or your family member have enough money or other resources to meet future financial obligations? How long could these assets reasonably be expected to last should a health emergency or long-term care need arise? Keep in mind government assistance is not available until other assets are severely depleted; this includes all assets, not just cash.
TIP 4: BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR OWN RESOURCES AND EXPECTATIONS
Does your family member expect you to provide for his or her personal care physically or financially? Does your budget have enough room to take on the extra expenses? Is there enough margin in your life to take on the additional responsibilities of being a primary caregiver? Be clear about this in discussions with your family member and everyone else who would look to you. Don’t allow others to assume you will take over the additional expenses or primary care needs of your family member if he or she moves in with you. Set boundaries and expectations. You cannot care for your family member if you don’t first care for yourself. These are difficult but necessary conversations.
TIP 5: RESEARCH THE OPTIONS
Armed with the knowledge of your loved one’s preferences, resources and needs, do some research. Make a list of questions. Determine which preferences are negotiable, and which are not. Find out what programs or options are available in your unique situation. If a care facility is an option, tour the facility and ask lots of questions. Keep in mind that should your family member need to move to a care facility, many of them have waitlists.
TIP 6: HONOR YOUR LOVED ONE
The transition from autonomy to dependance is not easy. You can make it smoother by choosing to ask your family member how he or she would like you to help. Even if you can’t adhere to all his or her wishes, you still can respond in ways that recognize and honor the individual. I’ve been in that position. It’s not easy, but it can be done. As the old saying goes, take the time to “walk a mile in their shoes.”
TIP 7: ASK FOR HELP
Although you may feel differently at times, you are not alone in the process unless you choose to be. If you allow yourself to ask for help, you may find there are more resources and people willing to help than you expected.
